Δευτέρα 29 Μαρτίου 2010

Είμαι γαμώ τα παιδιά...

Μερικές φορές βρίσκω κάτι απο το παρελθόν μου και ρίχνω γέλιο με τις παλιές μου δημιουργίες. Στο σημερινό επισόδειο θα δούμε μια ιστοριούλα που έγραψα πριν χρόνια, υπο την επιροια του αλκοολ και με χειρουργημένο νύχι, και κατάφερε να επιζήσει..Περιγράφει την μελλοντική μας ζωή όπως την οραματιστήκαμε εκείνο το βράδυ...
Είναι όλο σε greeklish και με πολλά inside jokes...Πακετώθηκες, δεν θα καταλάβεις και πολλά...

MIA NEANIKH ISTORIA


Oi istories neon kai pos diamorfothike i zwh tous. Ta prosopa kai oi katastaseis einai vasismenes se alithines istories.

H zwh tous htan aplh kai normal...Opos ton pio polon paidion...O Pronto, o Malcom, o Iosif, o Pops, o Dan, o Xrhstos...

O Pronto edose panellinies kai perase stin Patra, kai h kopela tou h Dalia to idio. Tha itan konta ta dyo paidia. H Dalia eixe mia ksederfh, thn Katerina. H Katerina itan na spoudasei Athina, opou hdh spoudaze o Malcom. To pedio spoudon tous arketa koino, den eixan omos sinanithei ews tora. Irthe o kairos gia to famous karnavali tis Patras. O Pronto proskalei ton Malcom stin Patra, na giortasoun mazi to karnavali. Parallila i Dalia eixe proskalesei tin ksaderfh ths Katerina. Eixan vgei loipon ta paidia se ena rakomeladiko, kai exontas perasei polu kala, me gelio kai xara girnane spiti. O Prontos paei apeftheias stin krevatokamara me tin Dalia, afinontas ton Malcom kai tin Katerina monous tous sto saloni. Vlepontas loipon to teleftaio episodeio One Piece, afou teleiose kai ontas ta 2 paidia arketa konta, filithikan. H sxesh tous epomenos proxorhse. O kairos proxorhse, ta 2 paidia ontas foithtes sthn Athina vlepontan arketa syxna, diatirontas mia anoikth sxesh. Erotikh tous fwlia to spiti tis Katerinas, h opoia emene moh ths, afou htan apo tin Zakintho.

O Malcom pragmatopoiouse syxnes episkepseis ston Pronto, o opoios kathe fora xairotan pou evlepe ton filo tou pou erxotan na ton episkeftei. Afth thn fora o Malcom tha emene gia mia evdomada me ton Pronto. Afou irthe me to amaksi na ton parei apo ta KTEL, eftasan spiti tou Prontou, o opoios menei me thn adelfh tou, thn Tasoula, afou kai ekeinh spoudazei sthn Patra. Ftanontas spiti, o Prontos sistinei ton Malcom stin aderfi tou, h opoia thimatai mia fora pou milage me ton aderfo tis sto tilefono gia ton Malcom. Enthousiasmenh, akougontas oti o Malcom asxoleitai me ypologistes, tou leei oti exei ena provlima sto Myspace kai sto Facebook tis, kai kathizei ton Malcom sto laptop gia na to ftiaksei. O Malcom prosferei me xara tis ypiresies tou, kai eno exei ftiaksei afto pou tou zitithike, h Tasoula tou zitage xaza pragmata, ta opoia kalista mporouse na kanei kai monh ths. Ystera ekane noima ston aderfo tis na fygei (!) kai o Prontos to ekane, pigenontas na fylaksei skopia mipos erthei o Giorgos. Afou efyge o Prontos, h Tasoula ekleise to laptop kai kathise pano sto grafeio, prokalontas mia stimgh amixanias ston Malcom. Idietera proklitikh, vazei to xeri tou pano sto podi tis, kai forontas ena leuko sortsaki, ton evale na tis xaidevei to mpouti. Entelos ksafnika, vgazei to mavro t-shirt ths, thelontas simfona me aftin na tou deiksei ena aniparkto simadi sto stithos tis... O Malcom mpainontas sto noima pia, tis leei oti kai aftos thelei na tis deiksei kati, kai otan ekeinh rotaei ti, tote ekeinos tin filaei...H atmosfaira gemati erotismo. Mporeite na katalavete ti egine. O Prontos girizei meta apo arketh ora spiti, vriskontas ton Malcom aragmeno sto laptop kai thn Tasoula sto krevati. "Malcom, kapnizeis??" eipe ekpliktos o Prontos..."Nai more, mou eipe h Tasoula oti einai kala...giafto". Gyrizontas stin Tasoula, tin vlepei ksaplomenh, kaliptontas ton eafto tis me ena leuko sentoni, koitontas psila kai anoigokleinontas ta matia anapolontas...Kapnize ena tsigaro, exontas hdh ena anammeno sto tasaki... H sxesh twn 2 proxorhse, kai h Tasoula ithele olo kai pio polu ton Malcom, o opoios eixe anoiksei ta xartia tou kai oi 2 kopeles, diladi h Katerina kai h Tasoula, ikseran h mia gia tin iparksi tis allis, alla den ithelan na xasoun ton Malcom, kai eixan simvivastei pleon me tin idea.

Exontas san Theo tou ton Xrono, o Iosif vrike douleia sta Runner kai ontas polu kalos stin douleia tou pire proagwgh kai apeluse olous tous ypallhlous, pernontas o idios olous tous misthous. Me afton ton tropo katafere na vgalei polla lefta kai na agorasei tin Kentrikh Plateia Selinoupolis kai ta kontina Kaukasus, trogontas dorean loukanikopites. O Iosif perase kai aftos Athina, stin idia sxolh me thn Kapal, mia kopela pou o Iosif tis eixe ekmistireftei ton erota tou me tropo romantiko. Ekeinh omos, pliros anorimh gia tin ilikia tis, eixe xeiristei to thema oso pio asxima  mporouse na to xeiristei. Meta omos apo toso kairo, h Kapal eixe pligothei apo enan klassiko tzoveno mainstream typo kai eixe xasei kathe elpida gia afto to eidos arsenikwn...Vlepontas omos ksana ton Iosif, sineiditopoihse oti ton latrevei gia tin monadikothta tou kai epene mazi tou gia polu kairo. O Iosif itan etoimos na endosei amesos, alla me tin simvoulh twn filwn tou, kratise antistasi stin mageftikh Kapal, kai os sinepeia, h Kapal ton eroteftike akoma pio polu. Meta apo ena mina epimonhs, o Iosif apofasise na einai mazi me tin Kapal. Sto proto tous randez-vous h Kapal itan polu piestikh, kai o Iosif efyge..To epomeno proi h Kapal itan monh ths spiti tis kai elave eba tilefonima apo ton Iosif. "Pou eisai?" tin rotise kai ekeinh apantise "Spiti mou eimai, monh mou"..."OK, erxomai" apantise o Iosif kai h Kapal ekstasiastike apo xara. Sinantithikan sto spiti tis Kapal kai ekanan erwta 12 fores... Analyontas tis theories tou o Iosif, myise tin Kapal stin latreia tou Theou Xronou kai mazi extizan eklissies se sxima rologiou, exontas parallila mia mistikh organwsh tis opoias o skopos tha parameinei kryfos ews otou petixei.Ta atoma pou kseroun gia afto einai o Iosif, o Prontos kai o Malcom.

O Pops eixe afierothei stis gnorimies me to anthitheto fullo meso Myspace. Exontas apoktisei apeirh empeiria meta apo polles gnorimies (polles ek ton opoion pragmatika idiotropes kai monadikes kata ena tropo) egine Relationships Counselor and Expert. Edine simvoules se polla erotimata ton xriston, oi opoioi maniodws diavazan tin selida tou,  grafontas ena bulletin kathe evdomada, apantontas sta themata pou ekrine aftos aksioprosekta. Evgaze xrimata vazontas sponsores stin selida tou kai dinontas simvoules meso pm enanti amoivhs, opos oloi oi simvouloi. Otan to myspace ekleise, egine metagrafh sto Facebook kai akoma sinexizei to ergo tou.

O Dan gymnazotan se entonous rythmous kai itan o kaliteros pelatis tou Pops. Afieronontas polles ores sta gymnastiria, mia mera epathe riksi esotenontikou stithous kai anagkastike na metavei gia iatrikh perithalpsh ston Evaggelismo. Ekei gnorise tin sinadelfo tou Dr. Evrikleia. H xhmeia entonh kai mesa se ena mhna itan mazi. Pantreftikan kai ekana 2 paidia.Ton Chuck kai thn Cameron.

O Xrhstos htan megalos fan twn anime.Meta ton thanato tou dimiourgou tou One Piece, apofasise na sinexisei aftos to One Piece kai na ftiaxnei o idios tin istoria, exontas gia voitheia ton Defkaliona sto animation. Mh exontas lefta, ton sintirouse o Iosif, afou tou eixe megalh adynamia.

--teh end!!1


Αθήνα, 13 Αυγούστου 2008  



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